Baker’s Bourbon Review: More Proof That America Kicks Ass

Distillery- Jim Beam (Clermont, KY)

Type- Small Batch Bourbon Whiskey

ABV- 53.5% (107 proof)

Age- 7 years

Commercial Description

Named after Baker Beam, grand nephew of the legendary Jim Beam, Baker’s® Bourbon is seven-years-old and hand-bottled at 107 proof. Embracing over six generations of distilling experience, Baker’s Bourbon utilizes a special strain of jug yeast that has been in the family for over 60 years. This time tested yeast provides Baker’s with a silky smooth texture and consistent taste from batch to batch. (via

My Review

Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism.

- Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down

There’s no better way for the Baron to finally return to his calling than writing a review of bourbon, the quintessential American spirit, on Veteran’s Day. I love America, I love bourbon, and anyone for who thinks America sucks, or that bourbon is an uncool drink for old men, you can kiss my muscular, multiracial American ass.

That Just Happened

So for those of you who aren’t horrible excuses for human beings, allow me to introduce to you one of the Baron’s favorite bourbons: Baker’s. Baker’s Bourbon is part of Jim Beam’s small batch collection, or as the Baron would have named it “Don’t Mix These with Coke or I’ll Find You” collection.

  • Appearance- Pours a fiery, aggressive shade of amber. It’s actually the Baron’s favorite amber, narrowly beating out John Hammond’s fossilized tree resin . 9/10

    "Why the hell didn't I just make bourbon?"

  • Aroma- Baker’s bourbon smells of patriotism, vanilla, caramel, brown sugar, honey, and a bit of smoke and fruit. Another alcoholic beverage that the Baron would wear as a cologne, let’s make this happen, InventHelp. 18/20
  • Taste- Baker’s has a very sweet taste upon entry with notes of vanilla, caramel, and brown sugar. It then progresses to a more cinnamon-like spice flavor while keeping most that of delicious sweetness. There is a pleasant, medium spicy-sweet finish that leaves you wanting to drink more and more. America: F— Yeah! 37/40
  • Palate- Baker’s is incredibly smooth, with enough of a kick to let your mouth know it’s drinking bourbon. I prefer to drink it neat, but shots of Baker’s go down like water… Delicious, fiery man-water. 10/10
  • Value- This a very pricey bourbon but it’s well worth the money. A 750mL bottle of Baker’s will run between $36-45 depending on your state’s liquor tax. This is the kind of bourbon that I keep for myself and share with good friends. It goes straight to the underwear drawer when casual acquaintances come by (or to t-shirt drawer if a skeezy perv shows up). 17/20

    T-shirt drawer it is.

  • Overall- 91/100

My Recommendation

I highly recommend you try this wonderful piece of America. Bourbon is the patron spirit of America, and Baker’s is among the finest examples of it today. Anyone who enjoys whiskey will love this bourbon, and it’s also a great transition for cognac drinkers to try something a little more manly.

There are two things I expect of my readers this Veteran’s Day weekend. First, buy a bottle (even if it’s a mini) of Baker’s Bourbon. And thengive thanks to all of those who fought for our freedom. Without them, some random man wouldn’t be trying to make Jurassic Park jokes while attempting to convince you to down a glass of his favorite booze. Thank you all, this drink’s for you.


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2 Responses to Baker’s Bourbon Review: More Proof That America Kicks Ass

  1. JDO says:

    John Hammond looks like someone who should make bourbon.

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