Jefferson’s Bourbon: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Whiskey

May 19, 2012

Distillery- McLain & Kyne (Clermont, KY)

Type- “Very” Small Batch Straight Bourbon Whiskey

ABV- 41.15% (82.3 proof)

Age- 8 years

My Review

Thomas Jefferson has been credited with many accomplishments, some of them deserved, some of them he’s been credited for seemingly  because no one had any other idea who invented what. We all know that he composed the original draft of the Declaration of Independence, but did you know he also invented macaroni and cheese? No? Well that’s because he didn’t, but no one really knows who did. Jefferson was a fan of mac and cheese, served it at Monticello, and BAM! Thomas Jefferson introduced macaroni and cheese to the world. Flash forward to the present. Thomas Jefferson is disappointed that that their are no flying horse chariots, and wondering why McLain & Kyne Distillery has named a line of bourbons after him  that has supposedly invented the phrase “very small batch.”

I imagine all of the bourbon distillers in the country gathering around like teenagers in the locker room, arguing over their “size.” Only in this case, the most bragged about size is not the one claiming to be the biggest, but the most minute.

“Mine’s small!”

“Well, mines very small!”

This particular whiskey is named Jefferson’s Very Small Batch Bourbon. It’s the first “very small” batch bourbon I’ve tried to date, so it must be the best, right? Just like most things in life, however, size doesn’t tell the whole story.

*Cues Reading Rainbow story-time music*

Bourbon is typically aged in large warehouses, with giant shelves built in so that dozens of stories of barrels can be aged. As you can imagine, there is much more volatility in the temperature near the roofs of these warehouses, as opposed to those on the floor. Large fluctuations in temperature, as well as high temperature in general, cause whiskeys to “age” faster and lose more to “the angel’s share,” or the amount of liquid lost to evaporation. To combat this, some distilleries move the barrels around to get them closer to the same “age.” But this is just a complete pain in the ass; barrels are heavy and warehouses are hot. So most distillers just say “F*ck it” and don’t bother. Why, you ask? If the bottle you’re drinking does not say “Small Batch” or “Single Barrel,” that means the bourbon is a conglomeration of every matured barrel in the distillery. They mix it to create a uniform taste, so that you, the consumer, know exactly what to expect.

The best barrels in the bourbon warehouse are, without a doubt, from the very center of the building. If your bottle says “single barrel,” then it is just what it sounds like: the contents of a choice single barrel from the center of the distiller’s warehouse. “Small batch” bourbons are in between regular and “single barrel” bourbons in terms of how they’re produced. Basically, the distillery will take all of the barrels from the center of the warehouse, sample each one, and combine them to produce their desired flavor profile. Jefferson’s Bourbon is made the same way as every other small batch bourbon, the “very” part is used just because the total amount of those prime, middle of the warehouse barrels used is smaller. Since consumers associate smaller with higher quality, it’s a great marketing tactic. But does very small make it better? Follow along as the Baron begins this noble quest.

Before we begin, here’s a video re-enactment of how the Baron drinks his bourbon:

As you can see, the whiskey goes down, and is never heard from again. Another shot is poured; it suffers a similar fate. The Baron’s belly is a whiskey graveyard.

  • Appearance  Jefferson’s pours a vibrant shade of brown; not quite an amber color like most quality bourbons. Still, it looks much more palatable than Evan Williams or Jim Beam White Label. 8/10
  • Aroma  Jefferson’s Bourbon smells of vanilla, caramel, and brown sugar, with slight notes of peaches and berries. It’s always nice to find aromas outside the typical scent of an oak-aged spirit. Nice job, Mr. President. 17/20
  • Taste  This bourbon does not have the most aggressive flavor, but it’s still very pleasing. You can pick up caramel, vanilla from the oak, corn, and a bit of cinnamon spice. It’s good, but I prefer my bourbons to be a little more ballsy.  35/40
  • Palate- Velvety smooth and delicate body that warms the palette. The finish is moderate in length, with the tiniest bit of burn going down. 9/10
  • Value  At $28 for a 750mL bottle, Jefferson’s Bourbon is about the same price as the Baron’s standby, Maker’s Mark. It’s also cheaper  than Baron favorites Woodford Reserve and Knob Creek. This is a pretty good price point for a spirit of Jefferson’s caliber. 18/20
  • Overall  87/100

My Recommendation

The Baron ranks Jefferson’s Bourbon just above 1792 Ridgemont Reserve, and several large notches below Baker’s Bourbon. Despite this, I think it is a very good bourbon for those beginning to test the delicious, brown and amber waters of small batch and single barrel bourbons. It’s also a good, affordable change-up for regular bourbon enthusiasts. The Baron buys a bottle every year. I’ve also been donating a case every Christmas to my local homeless shelter. I checked out their website recently to see if they wrote a thank you to the Baron and listed my site, hoping it would garner some page views. “**** Shelter would like to thank the ancestors of our Founding Father Thomas Jefferson for personally hand donating a case of their family’s bourbon to us for the last three years. Your holiday cheers have warmed our spirits.”

Thomas Jefferson: 697, World: 0

Bonus Baron Bartending

The Washingtonian

Ingredients

2.5 oz Small Batch Bourbon

0.5 oz Sweet Vermouth

Dash of bitters

Pour over 1-2 pieces of ice in an old-fashion or rocks glass, enjoy quickly.

Since the Washington Capitals entered a battle to the death with the New York Rangers a few weeks ago, the Baron has avoided anything New York related. This includes pretty much the only mixed beverage the Baron regularly drinks: the Manhattan. A traditional Manhattan is mixed in a 2:1 ratio of bourbon to sweet vermouth, with a dash of bitters. It is then shaken with ice in a cocktail mixer and poured into a martini glass with a maraschino cherry. F*ck that noise. The Baron’s version is called the Washingtonian, and has a higher bourbon to vermouth ratio because we’re using the good shit. F*ck the cherry and f*ck the martini glass, this drink is too ballsy for that. Go Caps, 2013.


Salud!


Beer-rock the Red

April 14, 2012

Like a “Jeff Schultz can’t hit” joke or a “TRADE MIKE GREEN” rant, losing early in the Stanley Cup Playoffs has gotten old for fans of the Washington Capitals. “Hope springs eternal” is replaced by “F the Penguins!” far too early each and every year. I could tell you that this year is different;  that this Caps team is hungrier, older, wiser. Or I could be a pessimist and go on about the deficiencies in Dale Hunter’s system and coaching style, the team’s lack of a killer instinct, and inability to put together a fully-focused effort for an entire 60+ minute hockey game. Luckily for you, readers of the Beverage Baron, I chose to do neither. Instead, here a few delicious “Red is Caps Hockey”-inspired brews that are equally proficient at calming overtime nerves, celebrating a victory, or numbing another disappointing loss.

You aren’t going to find any of these beers at Verizon Center, but they are all currently available at retailers throughout the DC Metro area, while supplies last of course. (Post title inspired by RMNB’s Barack the Red campaign)

21st Amendment – Monk’s Blood

This Belgian-style strong ale pours a dark crimson, similar to that of venous blood. Aroma of sweet malt, Belgian yeast, oak, vanilla, caramel, brown sugar, and dark fruits. Monk’s Blood has a heavy and satisfying sweet taste, with caramel, brown sugar, and dark fruits dominating the palette. The vanilla and oak notes play along in the background like a stay-at-home defenseman, invisible to the casual fan. It has a pleasingly palette-coating viscous body that makes it feel like you’re drinking a meal. It’s no wonder how Caps fans survive completely on alcohol during the playoffs some monks survived on a diet of beer during Lent if they had brews like this available. Be sure to try Monk’s Blood this year, because 21st Amendment has already announced they will not be able to produce any in 2013.

Baron Rating: 90/100

Dogfish Head – Red & White

Red & White is a brew that blurs the line between beer and wine, and in a completely non-snooty, always-rhyming kind of way. It’s also one of the Baron’s all-time favorites. Just read the description: Red & White is an ale brewed with coriander and orange peel with pinot noir juice added. 11% is aged in pinot noir barrels and 89% is aged on oak barrel staves. Luckily for me it has been released just in time for the playoffs, a time which historically has seen increases in sorrow drowning.  Red & White pours a hazy golden amber with a thick, frothy white head. It has the aroma of Belgian yeast, pinot noir grapes, coriander, candied sugar, and orange peel. It has a sweet, juicy taste that really tastes like a blend of a fine wine and a  Belgian witbier. It has a balanced fruity and dry taste, with notes of coriander, oak, Belgian yeast and caramel malt. A very smooth body hides the 10% ABV. Red-iculously amazing.

Baron Rating: 93/100

Lagunitas – Imperial Red

This imperial amber ale pours a clear, dark red color with a medium-sized white head that leaves rings of lacing along the glass. Lagunitas Imperial Red has a hoppy citrus aroma, with a bit of earthy malt presence. It has a moderately sweet malt flavor with a good wallop of bitter hoppiness. Like losing in the Cup Finals, the finish is long and dry. Luckily for you, that’s a good thing in a hoppy beer. Its medium body is well-carbonated and rather sessionable for 7.8% ABV brew. If you like a lot of sweet maltiness in you hop-forward beers, this one’s for you.

Baron Rating: 87/100

Salud! And go CAPS!


Williamsburg AleWorks Bitter Valentine: It’s Never Too Late to Find Love

March 3, 2012

Brewery- Williamsburg AleWerks (Williamsburg, VA)

Style- Imperial IPA

Availability- Limited (released for the first time Feb 2012)

ABV- 9.0%

Commercial Description

The newest addition to our family. A hoppy Double IPA that won’t break your heart… (via Williams AleWerks)

My Review

Today is February 14th 2013. Your girlfriend’s been strangely quiet all morning, responding to your texts with one-word answers.

“How’s your day going so gar sweetie?”

“*far stupid auto-correct”

“Fine. U?”

“Good. Got all those proposals in 2 the boss lady before lunch, thank g.”

You hear nothing from her for over an hour, and begin to feel the impending sense of doom you always seem to have when, unbeknownst to your clueless self, you’ve done something wrong. What the hell did I do now? I got in trouble last month for the anniversary thing, three months ago I dyslexically forgot her birthday even though it was on Facebook… 12th, 21st same thing.

Suddenly, your thoughts are interrupted by a delivery man walking through the office with what appears to be either the world’s most fantastically camouflaged Tommy gun, or more likely, a box containing a dozen roses. @#$%&! I am ****ing ****ed! You quickly check your Facebook to confirm you’re still in a relationship. So far it looks like your in the clear. Running on fear and pure adrenaline (mostly fear), you quickly begin to concoct the world’s greatest last minute Valentine’s Day surprise. The best restaurants are booked all night; the terrible ones booked until midnight. The closest available hotel room is at an Econolodge in a part of town best known for its ability to cast extras in Breaking Bad. So far it’s looking like the best case scenario is a bad breakup, the worst case looks like St. Valentine’s Day Massacre… with you as the victim.

Think, think, think! (pounds head on desk) Wait a minute… Your name here , you sexy, romantic genuis you! I’ll “pretend” that I forgot until I see her, and then reveal that I actually planned a romantic dinner that I’ll cook for her! We’ll eat by candlelight, just the two of us!

You run to the grocery store to pick up lobster tails, filets, chocolates, and the dregs of what is left of the flower section. You call your girlfriend and tell her you have a surprise for her tonight. For the first time all day she sounds like she doesn’t wish death upon you.

The evening starts out smoothly. You show up dressed nicely, to the untrained eye it appears you actually decided your wardrobe in advance. Time to cook that gourmet five-course meal, Iron Chef style. The salad is easy, it’s in a bag with dressing and croutons. YUMMY! You put an obscene amount of cream and butter in the baked potato soup, completely forgetting your special someone is lactose-intolerant. The lobster tail is overcooked, leading to an unpleasant rubber texture. The steak should have been the easy part, but your 12 spice rub caused a burnt, charcoal taste in the meat. Luckily, you bought a cake for dessert. 2 out of 5, and the two successes were pre-made. She doesn’t seem happy. You quickly bust out the hand-made card you just put together in your car.

"I Choo-Choo-Choose You... and there's a picture of a train!"

Your girlfriend is not amused by The Simpsons reference. She’s dumping my ass in T-minus 3… 2… One last present. You picked it out in the beer and wine section at the store, hoping she’d think the bottle was cute. Williamsburg AleWerks Bitter Valentine! Oh, she’s bitter all right. She barely looks as you crack open the bottle and pour the beer into two glasses.

“Happy… Valentine’s Day.”

She takes a sip while you ponder where it all went wrong. She begins to cry. Oh God, it really is over. She’s sobbing uncontrollably now. You begin to get closer for one last hug when she blurts out “This is THE BEST Valentine’s Day ever!”

That’s right readers of the Beverage Baron. Williamsburg AleWerks new creation, Bitter Valentine, is the kind of beer that can turn any disaster into and amazing victory.

  • Appearance- Bitter Valentine pours a clear golden amber color with a thick, fluffy white head. It has just the right amount of carbonation and the head laces the glass like the rings inside of a tree trunk. Put a picture of this on a Valentine’s card and I’ll be as intrigued as Ralph Wiggum with the train card. 9/10
  • Aroma- The aroma of this brew is VERY similar to that of Hopslam, maybe just a notch below it. Powerful aroma of juicy pineapple chunks, freshly-squeezed grapefruit juice, and perfectly ripened mangoes. They really need to start making those beer candles I’ve been talking about. 19/20
  • Taste- Bitter Valentine definitely lives up to its name. It starts off with a moderately sweet tropical fruit flavor from the mountains of hops packed into this beer. It becomes progressively more bitter and finishes long and dry. It could use a little more malt to balance it out but then they’d have to change the name to just “Valentine.” But its very enjoyable overall. It reminds me of a three-way lovechild of 90 Minute IPA, Weyebacher’s Double Simcoe, and Founders Double Trouble. Kinky. 36/40
  • Palate- This AleWerks offering has a light-medium body that goes down smooth, making it quite sessionable for an Imperial IPA. At 9% ABV your session should probably also include a designated driver. 9/10
  • Value- The latest offering from Williamsburg AleWerks rings in at $6.99 for a 22 oz bomber. That’s comparable in price to similar brews like 90 Min IPA and Double Simcoe, but significantly less than limited editions DIPAs like Hopslam. 18/20
  • Overall- 91/100
  • Food Pairing- Think big, bold flavors when pairing food with a hopped-up DIPA like Bitter Valentine. Grilled or barbequed meats are always a good bet for hoppy beers, and this is no exception. A hearty, well-seasoned fish like a swordfish steak will also make a delectable protein partner. Sharp, strong, or peppered cheeses can stand up to Imperial IPAs, so cheddar, gorganzola, and pepper jack work well (the Baron loves a good habañero jack). Very sweet, fruity desserts pair well for a last course, I like strawberry or pineapple cakes with thick frosting. I’ve heard crème brulée recommended but my stomach doesn’t always agree with my mouth (damn lactose).

My Recommendation

I highly recommend that you try this incredible brew from Williamsburg AleWerks. I would honestly buy this beer just to inhale its beautiful aroma. If flowers could smell like this I’d buy them for myself on Valentine’s Day, and tape one to my face so I could smell it all day. Luckily, they don’t, so I can avoid that awkward scenario. Bitter Valentine is a world-class IPA, you need to try it while you still can. They only produced a limited amount of this beer, so it’s already scarce. And due to the top-notch reviews it has received it will soon become the local version of Hopslam. Expect long waiting lists and lines next time its released (hopefully soon, but more likely next February).

Whether you still have your Valentine from last month or not, do yourself a favor and try this very special beer. Trust me, you’ll love it.

Salud!


The Baron’s Beers for the Big Game

February 5, 2012

It’s Super Bowl Sunday and once again, the Baron ponders which of the two teams playing he hates more. It’s New England and New York! No matter who wins, 97% of America loses! Although I may despise these two teams, I definitely do not hate the breweries from these two areas, and I especially do not hate the delicious brews they produce. So although most of us may hate Man Uggs and annoying younger brothers, I think we can all agree that drinking good beer is an excellent way to make it through this game, sanity intact.

New York Breweries

Brooklyn BreweryMonster Ale

Brooklyn’s Monster Ale is a heavy-handed winter seasonal that will wake up your Super Bowl party like a GoDaddy commercial. Brewed in the barley-wine style, it pairs well with whatever desserts your serving in the 4th quarter. Monster Ale pours a dark, hazy amber color with a creamy white head. It has a very sweet aroma of malt and fruit. Full-bodied with big, sweet flavors of caramel, overripe fruit and a touch of bittering hops. Best of all, at only $6.99 for a 4-pack its by far the most affordable barley wine brew I’ve purchased.

88/100

Sixpoint Craft AlesThe Crisp

Wherever you decide to watch the Super Bowl, there will most likely be people craving their zero-taste, low calorie macro brews. Rather than take this opportunity to mock them, offer them the chance to redeem themselves by cracking open a beverage for real adults. Sixpoint’s The Crisp tastes just like it’s name: crisp, clean, refreshing, with just enough hops to balance the bready malt flavor.  It’s light body and lower ABV (5.4%) also lend well to long periods of drinking, which is necessary considering the approximately 2 1/2 hour halftime during the Super Bowl.

84/100

New England Breweries

Clown ShoesEagle Claw Fist

The only thing more eccentric than the beers from Clown Shoes are the unusual names the brewery bestows upon them. Blaecorn Unidragon, Chocolate Sombrero, Vampire Slayer, Tramp Stamp… okay I suppose tramp stamps aren’t really all that unusual, but this brew, named Eagle Claw Fist, is an imperial amber ale. Not exactly the first style you think of when you hear imperial in front of it. It’s actually the second least used type of beer brewed in the imperial style, right after “Domestic Piss Lager.” Anyway, Eagle Claw Fist is a nice escape from the typical Super Sunday beers. It has the intense hoppiness of an imperial IPA (100 IBUs!) combined with the sweet caramel malt flavor typical of most amber ales. It’s a medium-bodied beer that means business. If Eagle Claw Fist were a person in the Super Bowl today, it would be Bill Belichick, minus banging other people’s wives.

86/100

Bill Belichick, with someone who's probably married to your best friend, about to call your cousin's wife.

Samuel AdamsAlpine Spring

The newest offering from Boston Beer Company, Alpine Spring, is brewed in the Zwickel Bier style. Essentially, a Zwickel Bier is an unfiltered German-style lager. It’s an adventurous brew for people who really aren’t adventurous drinkers. Alpine Spring pours a hazy straw yellow with a frothy white head. Bready malt aroma with a bit of lemon. It had a lightly sweet malt flavor with a slight hoppiness to it. Not the kind of flavor that will blow you away, but it’s definitely a pleasant taste. Alpine Spring is light medium-bodied has the velvety mouth-feel of a cream stout.  A very nice addition to the easy-to-find Sam Adams family.

85/100

Salud!


It’s the Most Wonderful Time to Drink Beer: The Baron’s Holiday Beer Guide

December 22, 2011

It’s 60 degrees in Washington, D.C. on the first day of winter, so what better time for the Baron to unleash his winter and holiday beer guide? I want to let you all know that the I DESPISE winter. I hate the cold toilet seats weather, I hate all of the sick people, and I especially hate all of those horrible Target ads with the psychotic blonde woman. Anyway, despite these seasonal prejudices, winter is BY FAR my favorite time for seasonal beers. It’s not the hop, hoppiest season of all, but it’s definitely the best. Here are 10 of my favorite winter brews.

Anchor – Christmas Ale 2011

America’s very first craft brewery produces one of the most interesting Christmas Ales in the country. Every year, Anchor prints a different tree on the label, and more importantly, uses a different recipe. This makes every year’s batch a new experience. That gives it big points in the Baron’s book. This year’s incarnation pours a mahogany brown with a healthy tan head. Smells of malt and gingerbread. Has a moderately sweet taste of caramel, brown sugar, nutmeg, bread, a little bit of dried fruit and molasses. Medium-bodied with a good amount of carbonation. I hoped my future children leave this next to cookies every Christmas Eve.

87/100

Anderson Valley – Winter Solstice

Anderson Valley is well-know for two reasons: producing beer using only solar power and making those beers taste mighty damn fine. Winter Solstice pours a clear copper with a creamy tan head. It has an aroma of caramel, vanilla and spices. This brew’s sweet malty taste contains notes of fruit and spice, making it a good choice for cold-weather drinking. Winter Solstice is also very affordable at only $3.49 for a 22 oz bomber.

88/100

Bell’s – Christmas Ale

The main reason for my love of winter seasonal brews is Bell’s. They have SEVEN bottled winter seasonals, all of which are amazing in their own special way. Bell’s Christmas Ale is favorite of mine for it’s ability to convert macrowashed people. Although it’s considered a scotch ale, it’s not a big, bold, flavorful beer. Bell’s Christmas Ale is brewed with 100% Michigan ingredients, which I very much approve of, and the simplest way for me to describe it is as much better version of Killian’s Irish Red. It has an easy-drinking light body making it perfect for converting people impressed by Killian’s.

83/100

Bell’s – Special Double Cream Stout

Due to Bell’s utter dominance of the coldest season, I had to feature another of their stellar brews. SDCS is the smoothest, creamiest stout in the world. It pours a dark brown with a luxuriously rich tan head. Aroma of coffee, caramel, and chocolate. SDCS has a moderately sweet taste of roasted malt, with a tiny bit of burnt bitterness. This brew has an amazingly smooth and creamy mouthfeel that you could drink all night while screaming “suck it Guinness!”

91/100

Founders – Breakfast Stout

Read my full review for all the details on this delicious winter stout. It’s perfect for breakfast, and goes great with just about any other meal during wintertime. In my arrogant opinion its the greatest “regular” coffee stout in the world. Be on the lookout for its Kentucky (March) and Canadian (October) brethren in 2012.

91/100

 

Great Divide – Hibernation Ale

Great Divide’s Yeti clan are all more than suitable for the harsh winter months, but the aptly named Hibernation Ale is made just those occasions when you’d rather stay inside and watch sports than go outside for any reason. The Baron also calls those occasions “weekdays”. It pours a dark chocolate brown with a thick off-white head. Strong malty aroma backed up by some spicy hoppiness. Hibernation Ale has a heavy taste of toasted malt and caramel, with a bit of hops, smoke and dark fruit. Although they age this beer for 3 months before bottling, some extra time in your cellar will meld some of the flavors, making it softer and sweeter.

87/100

Port City – Tidings

Since my initial tasting of their offerings, the Alexandria, VA-based brewery has created two tasty seasonal offerings. Their winter seasonal brew is Tidings, a Grand Cru version of their Optimal Wit and my now second favorite brew of theirs. It pours a cloudy golden color with two fingers of fluffy white head. Aroma of honey, spice and oats. Medium body with a moderately sweet honey and spice taste. The freshness of this local beer makes it even more enjoyable, I hope to have one left for New Years.

84/100

Tröegs – Mad Elf Ale

Perhaps the most well-known winter seasonal in the craft beer world, Mad Elf has everything you want in a holiday beer: something Christmasy on the label, a bunch of warming winter flavors, and a high alcohol content. Mad Elf pours a reddish amber color with a thin white head. Aroma is of cherries, honey and a bit of yeast. Tastes much the same, but with additional notes of caramel and spice. Definitely a classic holiday brew.

87/100

Victory – Dark Intrigue

Dark Intrigue is a limited edition, barrel-aged version of Victory’s well-known Storm King Stout. This imperial stout pours a very dark brown, with a thick coffee-colored head. It smells of roasted malt, caramel, delicious bourbon, oak and smoke. When I become president, I will dictate that every beer has a whiskey barrel-aged version of itself. Vote for Whiskey party candidate Robert Baron 2012. Change you can taste. Dark Intrigue has a medium, lightly-carbonated body that tastes of roasted malt, vanilla, whiskey, and a touch of hops. Definitely a beer you can savor on an ice cold day.

92/100

Weyerbacher – Quad

As the name suggests, this offering from Weyerbacher is their take on a Quadruple, highly complex and highly alcoholic Belgian ale. Quad pours a grape juice-like red color, with a fluffy off-white head. Aroma of fruit, spice and Belgian yeast. Quad tastes wonderfully complex; moderately sweet flavor of candied and dark fruits, apricots, spice, Belgian yeast and honey. Not only is this beer a tasty winter treat, it’s a certified Beverage Bargain. At $9.49 for a four-pack of a style that usually is $4-6 per bottle, Quad will leave you feeling warm and happy.

90/100

 

Salud!


Oskar Blues Ten Fidy: A Habitual Linestepper

December 18, 2011

Brewery- Oskar Blues Grill & Brew (Lyons, CO)

Style- Imperial Stout

Availability- Winter Seasonal

ABV- 10.5%

IBUs- 98

Commercial Description

Ten FIDY Imperial Stout – This titanic, immensely viscous stout is loaded with inimitable flavors of chocolate-covered caramel and coffee and hide a hefty 98 IBUs underneath the smooth blanket of malt.  Ten FIDY (10.5% ABV) is made with enormous amounts of two-row malt, chocolate malt, roasted barley, flaked oats and hops. Ten FIDY is the ultimate celebration of dark malts and boundary-stretching beer. (via Oskar Blues)

My Review

Friends, countrymen, Canadians; lend me your ears. Have you ever given one of your favorite brews to someone only to hear them utter the old “wow, this doesn’t taste like beer” phrase? I ask because this happens to the Baron on a regular basis. People have become peons, doing only what they’re told, drinking the pathetic corn and rice adjunct lagers that they believe make them cool, daring, manly, interesting, and most of all, make them anything less than extraordinary.

I could spend the next paragraph disparaging these sad people, but what would be the fun in that? I view them more as victims of the macrobreweries rather than people who consistently bad beverage decisions. It’s up to us, lovers of craft beer and spirits, to help them out.  And there’s not a better winter seasonal to do that than Oskar Blues Ten Fidy.  The Baron considers it to be the best canned beer in the world. Before you turn your nose at the word “canned,” read this about the benefits of canned beer. If you think canned beer sucks or tastes like metal, it’s probably because you’re drinking shitty beer from a can. This is a common mistake. To avoid future public gag reflex demonstrations, only drink canned beer from craft breweries such as Oskar Blues, Avery, 21st Amendment and Sixpoint.

Ten Fidy is an big, bold imperial stout that is perfect for winter weather. Instead of drinking hot cocoa, the Baron opts for slightly chilled Ten Fidy. It’s such a decadent beer that you could drink it for dessert; such an impressive beer that you could drink it for dinner and be satisfied.

  • Appearance-   Pours an utterly opaque black with a slight cocoa head that leaves a lacing on the glass.  This beer is so dark that I saw Kim Kardashian humping a case of it at Whole Foods. Needless to say, I bought mine elsewhere. Try not to spill this brew on your furniture, because it will definitely f*ck up your couch.  9/10

Cause of my complexion, he used to call me darkness. He calls me and my brother darkness. Darkness brothers. See, this was long before Wesley Snipes, back then we was the blackest niggas on the planet according to Rick James.

  • Aroma- Sweet malty aroma with notes of chocolate, caramel, coffee, and a hint of citrusy hops.  Rather light aroma compared to its appearance, but very pleasant nonetheless. 18/20
  • Taste- Amazing. Ten Fidy has a lusciously sweet roasted malt taste, similar to the aroma but much more enjoyable and satisfying. You can pick up bits of chocolate, toffee, caramel, coffee, molasses, raisins, and citrusy hops. It’s like drinking a stout milkshake, and I mean that in the best possible way. If I had to be drowned, I’d want to drown in a vat of this beer. 40/40
  • Palate- Thick and heavy, but incredibly smooth. It coats the mouth and the flavors linger long after the beer leaves your mouth. Kind of like the imprint of a “UNITY” ring.  9/10

CHARLIE MURPHY: He had this ring on to commemorate this song he had put out called "Unity". RICK JAMES: And this was imprinted in that black head of his for at least a week

  • Value-  I paid $12 for a four pack of Oskar Blues Ten Fidy. Pricey, but this is about the standard cost for an imperial stout. And considering this is not your standard imperial stout, I’d say it’s quite a damn good deal.  16/20
  • Overall- 92/100

My Recommendation

I highly recommend you try Oskar Blues Ten Fidy imperial stout before this year’s allocation runs out. Most imperial stouts age well, due to their high alcohol and hop content,  with their flavors changing and mellowing out. I have no idea if Ten Fidy ages well because it never lasts past February. As the old saying goes, once you try opaque, light-absorbing black, you never go back. Just try to drink a Guinness Draught after enjoying a can of Ten Fidy.  It’s such an amazing, boundary-pushing beer, that I recommend everyone try it at least once in their lifetime. It even acts as a good substitute for a milkshake in case “the milks gone bad!” Whether you’re “Cold Blooded” or just named “Mary Jane”, I think we can all agree that “Ten Fidy’s a helluva beer.”

(repeated line) Cocaine's a helluva drug! Hahahah

Salud!


Epic / DC Brau Fermentation Without Representation – Thanksgiving Beer at its Best

November 24, 2011

Brewery- Epic Brewing Co. (Salt Lake City, Utah) with DC Brau Brewing Co. (Washington, D.C.)

Style- Imperial Pumpkin Porter

Availability- Special

ABV- 7.3%

Commercial Description

This Imperial Pumpkin Porter is a smooth, mellow bodied and experimental collaboration with Epic Brewing from Salt Lake City, UT. Melding Crystal, Chocolate, Munich and Black malts a rich chocolate note plays off hints of burnt raisins and plums. Brewed with .2 lbs of allspice, nutmeg, ginger, cinnamon, and whole cloves. Accompanied by 600 lbs of pure pumpkin puree. At 8% ABV it is one to be enjoyed as Fall transitions into Winter. Stay Warm! (via http://www.dcbrau.com/our_brau.cfm)

My Review

If you walk into a store that sells craft beer today, chances are you’ll be seeing only winter brews in the seasonal section. Most Fall beers are now released at the end of August and are sold out by now. So what the hell am I supposed to do when I want an awesome Autumn beer for Thanksgiving, you ask? For years, the Baron has relied on beer-hoarding (check me out on A&E’s hit show this season!), buying seasonals when they first come out and resisting the temptation to drink them until I deem ready. But what about a more logical option, for those of us with limited space or without the willpower to resist these delectable brews until they’re seasonably appropriate?

Allow me to introduce you to Fermentation Without Representation. If you’ve ever driven in the DC area, you’ve cursed out a Maryland driver who needs to learn how to drive seen the Taxation Without Representation license plate tag. Well, DC Brau and Epic Brewing have teamed up to brew a beer that plays on the phrase in the most delicious way. Fermentation Without Representation is an Imperial Pumpkin Porter, and since it’s brewed with fresh pumpkin, rather than canned like most pumpkin ales, it’s actually been released during the peak of Fall, rather than the fall of summer.

  • Appearance- Pours like a top-notch porter, a clear dark brown with a very healthy beige head that leaves rings of lace around the glass.  8/10
  • Aroma- Fermentation Without Representation smells like an amazing Thanksgiving dessert. It has aromas of pumpkin, chocolate, roasted malt, pumpkin spices and vanilla. 18/20
  • Taste- This Epic brew has a medium-sweet taste of vanilla, brown sugar and pumpkin pie, followed up by notes of dark chocolate and coffee. It has the roastiness that can cut through the richer fare of the main Thanksgiving day feast, with sweet and subtle notes that also pair well with just about any dessert. Like I said, it’s the ultimate Thanksgiving Day beer. 36/40
  • Palate- Fermentation Without Representation has a dangerously drinkable medium body, it will be a Thanksgiving miracle if you don’t finish this bottle in under an hour. Probably the smoothest pumpkin beer the Baron has encountered to date. 9/10
  • Value-  I paid $5.49 for a 22 oz bomber of Fermentation Without Representation, a pretty good value for limited collaboration release like this. Did I mention that Total Wine is open today? Go grab a bottle while you still can. 18/20
  • Overall- 89/100

My Recommendation

This is the first time Fermentation Without Representation has been produced and I must say, the Baron is very thankful for Epic Brewing and DC Brau for producing it. Not only will it pair well with just about any Thanksgiving food you can find, it can also double as a liquid dessert if you have no room for a solid one. It has everything you want in an Autumn brew, and you can actually buy some today instead of relying on your August beer-hoarding.  So be thankful for you family, friends, loved ones etc. But if you want to give them all another reason to be thankful for you, be sure to bring a few bottles of the delicious, versatile Fermentation Without Representation with you to your Thanksgiving feast.

Salud!


Baker’s Bourbon: More Proof That America Kicks Ass

November 11, 2011

Distillery- Jim Beam (Clermont, KY)

Type- Small Batch Bourbon Whiskey

ABV- 53.5% (107 proof)

Age- 7 years

Commercial Description

Named after Baker Beam, grand nephew of the legendary Jim Beam, Baker’s® Bourbon is seven-years-old and hand-bottled at 107 proof. Embracing over six generations of distilling experience, Baker’s Bourbon utilizes a special strain of jug yeast that has been in the family for over 60 years. This time tested yeast provides Baker’s with a silky smooth texture and consistent taste from batch to batch. (via http://www.smallbatch.com/bakers)

My Review

Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism.

- Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down

There’s no better way for the Baron to finally return to his calling than writing a review of bourbon, the quintessential American spirit, on Veteran’s Day.  I love America, I love bourbon, and anyone for who thinks America sucks, or that bourbon is an uncool drink for old men, you can kiss my muscular, multiracial American ass.

That Just Happened

So for those of you who aren’t horrible excuses for human beings, allow me to introduce to you one of the Baron’s favorite bourbons: Baker’s. Baker’s Bourbon is part of Jim Beam’s small batch collection, or as the Baron would have named it “Don’t Mix These with Coke or I’ll Find You” collection.

  • Appearance- Pours a fiery, aggressive shade of amber. It’s actually the Baron’s favorite amber, narrowly beating out John Hammond’s fossilized tree resin . 9/10

    "Why the hell didn't I just make bourbon?"

  • Aroma- Baker’s bourbon smells of patriotism, vanilla, caramel, brown sugar, honey, and a bit of smoke and fruit. Another alcoholic beverage that the Baron would wear as a cologne, let’s make this happen, InventHelp. 18/20
  • Taste-  Baker’s has a very sweet taste upon entry with notes of vanilla, caramel, and brown sugar. It then progresses to a more cinnamon-like spice flavor while keeping most that of delicious sweetness. There is a pleasant, medium spicy-sweet finish that leaves you wanting to drink more and more. America: F— Yeah!  37/40
  • Palate-  Baker’s is incredibly smooth, with enough of a kick to let your mouth know it’s drinking bourbon.  I prefer to drink it neat, but shots of Baker’s go down like water… Delicious, fiery man-water. 10/10
  • Value-  This a very pricey bourbon but it’s well worth the money. A 750mL bottle of Baker’s will run between $36-45 depending on your state’s liquor tax.  This is the kind of bourbon that I keep for myself and share with good friends. It goes straight to the underwear drawer when casual acquaintances come by (or to t-shirt drawer if a skeezy perv shows up). 17/20

    T-shirt drawer it is.

  • Overall- 91/100

My Recommendation

I highly recommend you try this wonderful piece of America. Bourbon is the patron spirit of America, and Baker’s is among the finest examples of it today.  Anyone who enjoys whiskey will love this bourbon, and it’s also a great transition for cognac drinkers to try something a little more manly.

There are two things I expect of my readers this Veteran’s Day weekend. First, buy a bottle (even if it’s a mini) of Baker’s Bourbon. And thengive thanks to all of those who fought for our freedom. Without them, some random man wouldn’t be trying to make Jurassic Park jokes while attempting to convince you to down a glass of his favorite booze. Thank you all, this drink’s for you.


Salud!


The Beverage Baron’s Summer Beer Guide: Volume II

July 31, 2011

After 9 consecutive days of temperatures fluctuating between 80 and 86°F inside of the Baron household, the air-conditioning has finally been fixed. No more night-sweats despite sleeping nude, no more answering the door in my underwear (actually, that part wasn’t that bad), and best of all, no more having to avoid my favorite heavy, high-alcohol brews.

Nonetheless, I’ve continued to write about some of the beers that helped get me through these hard times, and will be sure to help you satisfy your need for delicious craft brews in the hot summer months. Click here if you missed Part I

Great Lakes – Holy Moses White Ale (Cleveland, OH)

The only beer on my list actually designated as a summer seasonal, Holy Moses is a refreshing brew available in the Mid-West and Northeast portion of America. This Belgian-style witbier earns high marks in the Baron’s book for it’s enjoyable aroma of citrus, spice and yeast, as well as it’s smooth, light body and affordability ($8 for a 6 pack). Holy Moses may not destroy your enemies with plagues part the Red Sea for you, but it will definitely help you ward away the satanic temperatures of summer.

                                               86/100

Lagunitas – Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ Ale (Petaluma, CA)

Lagunitas is known for producing highly tasty, highly affordable craft beers and this brew is no different. Little Sumpin’ Sumpin pours a rich golden color with a thick white head. This brew has just the right amount of sweetness from the wheat malt to counter the citrus hop flavors.  It’s a very refreshing beer for the summertime, but also has more than enough flavor to keep you satisfied throughout the year. Definitely Sumpin’ special. 

                                                88/100

Oskar Blues – Dale’s Pale Ale  (Lyons, CO)

If you have a friend or family member that doesn’t drink craft beer, this is probably the best beer he will have had to date. If they do drink craft beer, Dale’s Pale Ale is probably the best pale ale they’ve had the pleasure of consuming.  It pours a clear amber hue with a thick, foamy head that leaves a lacing along the glass as you drink it. This little can packs in a load of flavor; it’s hoppier than your average Pale Ale, but has a great malt backbone to keep it smooth and balanced. Perfect for outdoor consumption.

                                               88/100

Tröegs – Dream Weaver Wheat  (Harrisburg, PA)

I know I dream about this beer every time I’m surrounded by Anheuser-Busch products.  Tröegs Dream Weaver Wheat pours a hazy golden color with a thin, fluffy white head. It has the expected German Hefeweizen aroma of banana, clove, wheat and yeast, along with notes of bubblegum and citrus.  It has a moderately sweet taste that matches its aroma, and has a light body that makes it a great thirst quencher. 

85/100

 

Victory – Prima Pils  (Downington, PA)

I wrote a full review on this great pilsner to kickoff the summer season, but let me reinforce to you why Prima Pils is a great summer beer:

  • It costs LESS than Corona and tastes, smells, looks, and feels infinitely better in your mouth (that’s what she said).
  • The Pilsner style can be enjoyed by everyone, from craft beer connoisseurs to underaged kids sneaking beer from the family barbeque cooler people who are more used to the macrobrews that billions of advertising dollars have brainwashed us into thinking are tasty.
  • Its ridiculously smooth, light body makes it THE go-to beer during prolonged outdoor activities. Whether you’re manning the grill, tailgating for a game, or simply avoiding that judgmental aunt that no one in your family likes but you have to invite her because she’s family and will likely spread unfounded rumors about your love-life if she’s not present (breathe), Prima Pils is the perfect outdoor companion for all occasions.

88/100

Salud!


The Beverage Baron’s Summer Beer Guide: Volume I

July 26, 2011

They say as soon you have to cut down on your drinking, you have a drinking problem.

- Don Draper, Mad Men

Friends, I want to inform all of you that I have a problem… I’ve been without air conditioning during the midst of the worst heat wave in recent memory. And even though I’ve been forced to consume more water than full-grown African elephant, I’ve managed to avoid developing a drinking problem. That’s right, readers of The Beverage Baron, despite the increased risk of heat stroke, I’m continuing my misson to drink the world’s most delicious beverages.

So what in the name of Roger Sterling Jr. are you supposed to drink when it’s hotter than Lucifer’s codpiece outside? Beer of course! Almost every single brewery has a summer seasonal that’s probably a good bet to hit the spot during hot weather, but how uncreative would it be to have summer beer list made completely out of summer seasonal? Besides, it’s still blazingly hot here in September when most brewers are pushing their Oktoberfest and Pumpkin ales, so these beers are a great alternative until it actually gets cold. Here are the first 5 (out of 10 total) brews won’t cause your body’s organs to systematically shut down in the oppressing heat.

Allagash – White (Portland, ME)

Allagash White is crisp, refreshing Belgian-style Witbier that crushes its foreign counterparts in the Taste and Palate categories. It has a silky medium body and a slightly fruity taste, with a pleasing herbal spiciness that is backed up by the flavor of grain and yeast. This brew pairs well with just about any kind of grilled protein you can think of. A true classic. 89/100

Avery – Ellie’s Brown Ale (Boulder, CO)

The Baron loves to drink dark beers, and while I’m perfectly content to drink an Imperial Stout in a well air-conditioned room, it’s not going to happen in 100+°F weather outside. So what’s a man to do to when he wants to savor a dark beer while barbequing? The always-loyal Ellie’s Brown Ale does the trick. Very nice malty flavor, mostly of roasted and caramel malt, with a bit of chocolate and a touch of bittering hops. It has a creamy, medium body that allows it to be savored indoors or used as a thirst quencher outside. It’s also available in cans, making it a great beer to pack for an outdoor trip. 86/100

Bell’s – Amber Ale (Kalamazoo, MI)

Bell’s Amber Ale is not only a great example of the style, it’s also a great introductory brew for new craft beer converts. It’s a well-balanced beer, with tasting notes of caramel, toffee and toasted malt backed up by a light citrusy hop flavor. It’s also a Beverage Bargain, six-packs are available for $7.   85/100

 

 

Dogfish Head – 60 Minute IPA (Milton, DE)

As the name implies, this IPA is the younger brother of the heavenly 90 Minute IPA. Although not as rich as the 90 Minute, this brew is just as satisfying and decidedly more sessionable in the heat. It has loads of hop flavor but is still remarkably drinkable. It starts off with sweet, with notes of orange and grapefruit, and has a pleasingly dry finish. 60 Minute IPA deserves a place in your fridge this summer. 88/100

Great Divide – Wild Raspberry Ale (Denver, CO)

Although I wrote a full review on Wild Raspberry Ale earlier this year, I just wanted to add a few points about why it’s a great summer beer. It has a slightly sweet, slightly tart taste that pairs well with spicy grilled food. It has a light, smooth body that lends well to repeat drinkings. And that’s great, because you can drink one with your pulled pork BBQ sandwich, and then drink another one by itself for dessert. Win-win. Oh yeah, it’s also 1,000,000,000 times better than drinking a Smirnoff Ice or MGD 64 Lemonade. 86/100

Salud!


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